Opposite Day Confessions

If today was opposite day, i DID NOT:

return a shirt to a department store, just so I could re-buy it with a coupon I got in the mail.

take the undies off a 3 year-old who had an accident in the store, wash said 3 year-old's shoes in the sink, then allow her to go undie-less until we could purchase new ones so our day out would not be interrupted.

wet down multiple paper towels from the bathroom and put them in my purse in order to change 16 month-old's diaper since I ran out of wipes.

leave my 7 year-old in charge while in a different department store (that has no bathroom) while I ran with the 3 year-old (who had undies again at this point) to the (supposed non) bathroom (which I discovered exists) 5, yes FIVE different times in which I had 5, yes FIVE discussions about the giant steamers in the bathroom and random dinosaur fossils and were each unsuccessful attempts at the potty.

tell the cashier to, "NEVER shop with 3 children."

bathe my baby in a parking lot with random half-filled water bottles because she deciced to use her banana snack as a body cream and hair masque.

rub the chocolate milk into my daughter's hair so it would blend in better and people wouldn't be able to tell I had given her complete control of her Sonic drink only minutes before.

rescue my silly girl from the top rung of the ladder (that said "Please No Children on This Ladder") just before she lept into the "demo pool" in the pool/chemical store when I was busy asking about the benefits of a salt water pool instead of a chlorinated pool.

suck a lollipop (you know, the ones from the bank) out of my daughter's hair because it was stuck.

wipe a boogar (from 3 year-old's nose) on her own nightgown for fear that it was headed straight to my shirt.

tell 7 year-old to go to her own bed if she just "couldn't stop doing the Macarena" in bed.

Glad it wasn't opposite day. It wouldn't have been near the fun.