Did you see her?

Did you see that woman yesterday? Did you go to Target? If you did, you couldn't have missed her. You know. The one with the children who were just plain wild.

I was appalled. It was like they had never stepped foot in public until yesterday. From the second the automatic doors flung themselves open welcoming whatever could walk itself through them, my mouth hung open in disbelief. How could a seemingly well bred woman who appeared to have herself halfway together, create offspring of this nature?

At first sight, they began bickering over which basket would be the one they took, even though every single basket was EXACTLY the same. She seemed flustered from the get-go --trying to please all the children but realizing she would have to grow 4 more arms for the event.

As they finally ventured on, they moved to the Dollar Bin. You know the one. At the front of the store with knick knacky seasonal goods placed so orderly in separated shelving units. So enticing. As they all descended on the bins, it began to look as though large pieces of confetti were flying through the air. Destined to find "the one," they looked to the bottom of each stack rifling through and shuffling around until not a single item was in its right place. THE HORROR.

I began thinking, "Surely, a woman of average intelligence would never have gone at this feat alone. Surely, someone warned her that her children must first have some social etiquette courses before she attempted to mainstream them into society."

Then, shock set in. It was then that I began to have pity on the poor woman. The anger that she would subject other people to her obvious disregard for discipline subsided and pity set in. The middle of the three children began to scale a clothing rack. Quite quickly, with much skill, she started at the bottom of the rack until she was finally perched above the 50% off sign. You know the one. One by one, with each foot placement, bathing suits and other marked-down items took their ghastly tumble onto the floor. But that's not all. It wasn't completely done. Not yet. Realizing that a few items were left hanging on the rack, the child reached out like a monkey reaching for a banana and began swatting until the last article had fallen to the floor.

In her panic and failed attempts at getting the younger child safely buckled into the basket so that she could deal with the animal hanging from the sale sign, she stumbled and knocked a separate rack to the floor. Poor woman. My God, help her.

Once securely wrangled, she placed the monkey child on the floor to have a talk with her. God forbid anyone see her lose her patience. She spoke in a calm, loving voice explaining the wrongs of the event and firmly demanded help picking up all of the items. At the mention of this, the child took off running through every possible rack laughing and screaming. The poor woman was ragged. What was just a few short minutes seemed like hours.

Once it seemed as though she FINALLY had the situation under control, they headed off to the dressing room. It wasn't until her attempts at getting her children out of the gymnastics suits they had tried on did I notice her again. The shrieks from inside the dressing room were deafening.

As it turned out, they all appeared with suits on and a fitting room attendant escorting them to the front of the store so the children could stay in their desired suits. What a pity. She can't even keep them in order long enough to put on normal clothing!

The rest of the Target event culminated fairly decently (considering the prior behavior) with the exception of one of the children urinating in her new suit while waiting at the checkout line. Nice. They hadn't even paid for it yet.

So, my question is, "Did you see that woman yesterday? Did you go to Target? Did you see her? Did you see me?"