just breathe

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
Psalm 90:14


Emory is doing so well that she is a candidate to be moved to the intermediate nursery. She will remain in the NICU to continue being monitored and will not be moved unless there is a need for bed space for a child in more severe conditions. The ratio of nurses to babies is better in the NICU so we hope she stays there. She is doing so well.

Emory nursed twice today and was bottle fed at her other feedings. She is now breathing room air with out the nasal tubes. She remains connected to only 3 monitoring devices which check her oxygen saturation, her heart rate, and her respiration. What a difference in just a couple of days. How exciting to be nearing the day when she will leave the hospital with us. We receive more information concerning her health daily. She will have monthly vaccines for RSV and need to have check ups with a pediatric lung specialist for a while. PJ was given a child CPR class by one of the nurses because “sometimes these little ones forget to breathe.” All these things keep us balanced in our joy and concern. We are constantly reminded of the awesome thing it is to be alive, to have life in our body.

I went to church tonight and was overwhelmed with the presence of God - His nearness and mercy toward me and my family. He reminded me in a loving way of the events that have taken place in the last weeks. From PJ’s health to Emory’s birth and life, I understood more clearly God’s active role in sustaining PJ’s life and giving breath to Emory. And I understood my lack of ability to do anything really. I saw more clearly my desperate dependence on a loving and good God. I wept from a full and grateful heart.

Our faith is not one of following Christ if we get what we want. God gives and takes away and is always worthy of our devotion. But that He chose to show me mercy, to come to my aide, to help me in my helplessness… what can be said?

In Genesis we learn that God formed Adam from the dust, be he had no life until God breathed life into Him. You and I are receiving that breath at this moment. What care we are being given and at such an intimate level, yet we often feel that God is so far away, if there is a God at all.

Each breath. I have watched Emory’s breaths, levels on monitors, her chest and stomach rising and falling and all the worries and sighs of relief that come with it. It exhausts me in minutes. Yet several times a minute, 1440 minutes a day, for how ever many years you’ve been breathing, God has carefully made sure that you have your breath; that I have my breath; that Emory has her breath. Each breath - a life giving gift that we did nothing to deserve or earn and that we can’t supply for ourselves. Don’t believe me? Try to put breath into someone who has none.

But you’re still breathing, and so is Emory. How? Why? The goodness of God. He must really love you.


"You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being." Rev. 4:11